Happy Landings aviation humor

 

Aviation articles by Garth Wallace

Why buy an airplane?

You learned how to fly. You finished the course, received your ticket and now you’re a pilot! It’s time to take friends and family flying. You take off into the freedom of the skies. What could be better than this?
Answer: Your own airplane.

SHOPPING
So you subscribe to a ton of aviation publications. Coffee and drool stain the "aircraft for sale" sections. Your browser boots up to an "aircraft for sale" web site. The "refresh" button on your keyboard has worn through. You are no longer dreaming about an airplane, you are shopping.
You talk to every pilot you meet. They praise the airplanes they fly and pan the ones they don’t. The local aircraft maintenance engineer tells you that all used airplanes are tied for last. The aircraft broker says all airplanes are perfect except the ones he doesn’t have for sale.
Sticker shock sets you back. Maybe you need a partner or two. You consider building an airplane or buying one already built. More sticker shock. How about ultralights? Lots of conflicting information there.
Some of the other pilots are heading to Oshkosh. You tell your spouse that you’re going along to get this ownership thing out of your system.

"HELLO GARTH?"
My cousin Peter called me when he was at this stage of his recreational flying."
"Hello, Garth? I got my Private Pilot Licence!"
"Congratulations Peter!"
"I found a pretty little Cessna 150 for sale nearby. I think I can swing it if I can talk my daughter into becoming an air conditioning mechanic instead of going to university."
"What does Anna say about it?"
"She wants to be a lawyer."
"Oh. How are her high school marks?"
"Top of the class."
"Well Peter, every family needs a good lawyer."

YOU CAN TASTE IT
Your head snaps around every time you see an aircraft for sale. It doesn’t matter if the paint is faded, interior ripped and the tires are soft. It’s better. Maybe the price is right.
Airplanes beckon you. "Rub my fuselage, fix my interior, pump my tires and I will fly you forever." Now you can really taste aircraft ownership.
You read the COPA Guide to Buying an Aircraft. It answers questions and raises more. Are you up for the challenges? You bet. Flying is about challenges.
Your banker is terrified of toys that fly. Your spouse is worried that you’ll disappear to the airport never to be seen again. Find another banker. Tell your mate, "Don’t fret. You’ll know where I am and you can visit me there anytime." There’s no stopping you now.

"Hello, Garth?
"Yes, Peter?
"Anna won a full scholarship to university. I bought the Cessna 150."
"Way to go! Have a blast!"
"I am."

ARE YOU CRAZY?
Wait a minute. Why would anyone buy an airplane when they can rent one at the local flying school?
Sure there are hassles: daily flight time minimums, lackluster selection, proficiency requirements, destination restrictions, frumpy equipment, erratic availability and the wait while the pilot who has it now brings it back. But the rental hassles are small compared to the huge knowledge requirements, time expenditures and cost of aircraft ownership.
Stick with renting and you won’t have to learn about aircraft shopping, purchasing, financing, insurance, maintenance, overhauls, storage, documents, cleaning or refurbishment. You won’t have to shovel, cut grass, have a hangar, battle airport politics or go to the field on a windy night to check on your investment.
Most flying schools help rental pilots with dispatching, fueling, pre-heating and ramp shuffling. They also have more than one aircraft.
All of this at a cost per hour that’s less than if you owned the airplane.

YES, I’M CRAZY
If we didn’t like challenges, we could rent an airplane with a pilot and save the hassles and expense of learning how to fly.
Pilots buy airplanes for all the reasons that they should rent. We want an airplane because we want to shop, buy, finance, insure, rub, hug, repair, re-equip, dispatch, fly, refuel and tuck it in at night.
Aircraft ownership takes our sense of adventure, our quest for new knowledge and skills and our search for accomplishments to a higher level. It is the ultimate aviation experience.

TEN TRUTHS
1/ Pilots buy airplanes because the challenge of learning to fly felt good but didn’t last.
2/ Buying an airplane is buying a piece of aviation. Building an airplane is building a piece of aviation. Flying your own airplane is flying a piece of yourself.
3/ Being a pleasure pilot is a part-time hobby, owning an airplane is living total aviation immersion.
4/ If you own an airplane, you will learn more about aviation and yourself than you knew there was to know.
5/ The sooner you stop trying to justify an aircraft purchase, the sooner you can get on with enjoying it.
6/ Canadian pilots buy and build their own airplanes because they can.
7/ Aircraft ownership is an investment that pays dividends in fun, frustration, challenges, insanity, freedom, commitment, pride, worry, prestige, headaches and satisfaction.
8/ Airplanes cost money.
9/ When you go, you can’t take any money with you.
10/ Renting an airplane is like going on a date. You book it, fly it, say good night and then dream about it until the next one. Owning an airplane is an aviation marriage. You buy it and pledge to love, honour and obey it forever. You may now kiss the bride.

FINAL THOUGHTS
Part ownership of an airplane works. It combines some of the good and bad of aircraft rental and sole ownership.
The number of partners owning an aircraft can be unlimited. Many of Canada’s flying clubs started this way.
Group aircraft building works too. Partners will come and go but the memories will last forever.

WHAT’S NEXT?
"Hello, Garth?"
"Yes, Peter?"
"I found a little place in the country for sale. It has a 2,000-foot landing strip and a lean-to hangar."

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